


Dear Shittykawa

by mosaics



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pining, the homoeroticism of letters that you'll never send
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:01:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mosaics/pseuds/mosaics
Summary: When I think about 10 years down the road, about family. About marriage and all the stuff that my mom’s on my throat about, I don’t think about how I’ll bring back little tokens that I see on my way back from work to my wife, I think of how she’s going to have to make extra space on the bed because you run hot when you go to sleep and you cuddle up like an octopus after some hours when you inevitably get cold.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 10





	Dear Shittykawa

~~Dear~~ Shittykawa,

You remember that time we were five and you cried for 2 days straight because my family went on a vacation and you assumed that you’d be going too because “Iwa-cahn’s family right, Iwa-chan?” but we left without you?

Yeah…yeah.

You’re not gonna read this ~~because I’m not going to send it to you, I’m not strong enough~~ so I’ll just have to imagine the embarrassing whine accompanying the obligatory “Iwa-channnnnn” you say with the cutest pout shaped by your chapstick plumed lips because you hate it when you’re not moisturized. 

Ahh you’re making me miss you so much that I’ve resorted to waxing poetics about your fucking lips instead of keeping it all inside, Idiotkawa, fuck you.

You’re in Argentina and the pictures you sent me, the ones of you playing beach volleyball, ~~of you all sun-tanned and shiny eyes, and easy movements, of you so _free_ and loved, ~~are pinned on my wall. My roommate says I’m so whipped for you – he keeps making the _wt-cha!_ sound whenever I talk about you – that it’s a miracle I haven’t dropped on one knee and showed you what I really wanted to do with you – his words, not mine – and. and instead of reprimanding him – instead of saying, “no he’s just my best friend” ~~when all I wanted was _more more more_~~ – all I could think of was “well he is my partner”. I didn’t care in what ways that word could be interpreted, and I didn’t care because since we were kids, you’ve been my partner, in every sense of the word and. and when I think about 10 years down the road, about family. About marriage and all the stuff that my mom’s on my throat about, I don’t think about how I’ll bring back little tokens that I see on my way back from work to my wife, I think of how she’s going to have to make extra space on the bed because you run hot when you go to sleep and you cuddle up like an octopus after some hours when you inevitably get cold. 

I don’t know life without you, Oikawa, and I don’t want to.

Everyone tells me America will change my perspective on things and it has! – Flipflops! Are an acceptable from of footwear! Outside! – and it has taught me that I don’t have to hold my breath when I hold a boy’s hand, but it has also made me realize how much I want that hand to be just yours. 

Ah, Tooru. 

_Tooru, Tooru, Tooru._

I wish I spent more time calling you that instead of all the shitty names I gave you. They always seemed safer than letting you know how much love I packed into every syllable of your name whenever it slipped out.

My point – I swear I had a point leading up to all this – is that I’m miles apart from you, I’m only 19, I have no idea of what the future holds but whenever someone asks me what makes me happy, it’s always that one memory, sun-dappled and warm, 5-year-old you leaking like a snot faucet and all tear-streaked chubby cheeks, saying I was your family.

How could I not fall in love with you, you beautiful, wonderful asshole? You had me _wt-cha!_ -ed since then.

~~Yours, in every sense of the word,~~

Iwazumi

**Author's Note:**

> my college’s lounge area was so serene today and i hate nyc weather, i hate snow but seeing it outside in heaps while the sun shone on me...anyway there was something abt the juxtaposition that made my brain write this. it’s been exactly a year since i came to usa. i had my first kiss with the girl i loved two days before i left. and im in nyc, in this big overwhelming city that has no intention of being delicate to me, all alone...ahh that's dramatic! but haikyuu has been so important to me throughout this year so this is something i wrote in a place which has my heart, but missing the place that has my bones.


End file.
